A Whole Systems Approach to Navigating Grief
Part 2: The Quantum Connection
"You and I don't end at our fingertips or skin, we are connected through air, water, and soil"
— David Suzuki
When someone we love dies, it’s an invitation to question the meaning of life and death. When I looked up the origin of the word ‘Grief’ I found that it comes from the Latin word ‘gravare’ to make heavy and ‘gravare’ comes from the word ‘gravis’ which means heavy. The description went on to say grief is ‘a heavy, oppressive sadness’. For me, when I close my eyes and try and describe grief, it resembles a cosmic black hole deep within me. If I had to describe how it makes me feel I would say it feels like fear, the fear of abandonment. It is a vortex of dense energy that is sucking me into the eye of an unknown darkness and stillness. It has an emptiness that I can’t soothe and reassure because I can’t quite reach what I’m yearning to wrap my arms around.
This led me to look up a description of a black hole. In astronomy it is ‘a region of space having a gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can escape’. It can also mean ‘a place where money or lost things disappear without a trace’. But have we really ‘lost’ our loved ones without trace. For me, I have come to learn over the years that the black hole within me is full of possibility, an opportunity for something new, resilient, and trusting to be born out of the darkness. There is nothing predictable about the journey into the darkness, grief takes us to the edge of reason, uncomfortable and inconvenient. It’s a constant remembering of who we are - spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. By sitting in all the messiness and pain of grief and allowing it pulse through every cell in the body, there is the invitation to loosen our grip on it, allowing the energy to move through us. The old story falls away and a new more powerful one emerges from the shadows, a story of love..
The physiology of grief
Grief is different for everyone, and our journey can depend on the root cause of the grief. The big one for me was the unexpected and in my mind still unexplained death of my son, Rex. This type of grief is complex in nature. It’s a sudden shock in the nervous system stopping us in our tracts, an incomplete story. We are stuck in the sympathetic and dorsal vagal, freeze state. Our body is trying to keep us safe. The amygdala part of the brain that resides in ancient limbic system instantly releases adrenaline so we can flee from the predator, but we have nowhere to run, paralysed in fear in a world we no longer feel safe in. Grief for me is feeling the fear of abandonment and yes, a deep oppressive sadness. In writing this blog, my hope is to demonstrate through my lived experience that there is light within the black hole. I reach out to all bereaved parents, when a child dies the black hole is as deep as it gets.
Before any healing and nurturing can begin, there is a need to learn how to mobilise from these states of fear and complete the story to safety. I have worked with EMDR and somatic therapists for post-traumatic stress and both have been transformative. But it is nature, that has been my most profound medicine. It has brought a sense of safety back into my body with the reassurance of being held by something wise and dependable. Nature never fails to spring back into bud and bloom year on year, and then fall away to nourish the soil to prepare for another cycle. But it’s so much more than this…
We have evolved over millennia with nature, so it makes sense that nature facilitates our quantum biological health. We spent most of our time outside, foraging locally and eating the food in season. We absorbed the sounds of nature and the frequencies of light on our skin and through our eyes to bring a sense of safety and vitality to our body. We are meant to live in sync with nature and it’s circadian and seasonal rhythms.
We are here to be in relationship with nature.
We are approximately 70% water by volume, but over 90% water on a molecular level. Through the work of Gerald Pollock we have discovered water molecules in our body are structured organised crystals forming a viscous like gel. This exclusion zone water or structured water surrounds every cell in the body and can transfer coherent information from nature and our environment via photons of light and phonons of sound along long distances in an instant. “We are a dance of water and electricity on a cellular level” Dr Catherine Clinton.
As natural light hits the back of our eyes, sensors interpret the amount of blue light within the light spectrum and send this signal to the master circadian clock in our brain called the SCN. The SCN will identify what time of day it is and what energy capacity is required and send out an instant message to every cell in the body via oscillations in the crystalline water. This has evolved over millennia and influences all processes in the body, blood pressure, muscle strength, hormones, digestion etc.
Daily rituals to support our circadian rhythm and quantum connection:
1. Sky-gazing as the sun rises to benefit from the healing infrared and red light which is anti-inflammatory in nature and helps build our EZ water. This light information is communicated via the EZ water to the master clock in the brain (SCN) which then oscillates this message to every cell in the body to begin their daily tasks. The perfect blend of red/blue light at sunrise also turns on the hypothalamus pituitary axis to regulate hormone production.
I like to sip on a fresh rosemary (the herb of remembrance) and lemon tea whilst setting my intention for the day ahead. If my chest feels constricted with grief, I let myself be breathed by nature freeing me up to feel safe in my body.
2. A walk in nature mid-morning enables UVA light to stimulate the production of dopamine, serotonin, thyroid hormones and more. In the evening the serotonin converts via the pineal gland to melatonin which helps us have a restful night sleep.
3. Grounding in nature, barefoot on the earth helps us absorb the negative ions which again help structure the water in our body into the crystalline communication network for resonance and coherence. If it’s too cold, just touching the trees, flowing wild water or plants enables nature’s negative ions to be absorbed. Just 1 negative ion can fuel 1 million water molecules in our body. When we get up close and personal with nature, we also introduce diversity into our internal ecosystem and our gut microbiome benefits.
4. Chanting, humming, singing all help reset the vagus nerve back into the parasympathetic ventral vagal rest state.
5. Breathwork like box breathing (4 counts in, hold 4 counts, 4 counts out, hold for 4 counts) or inhale 4 breaths and exhale for 8 breaths can be a rewarding way of releasing the hold grief has on our lungs.
2 Gratitude work and journaling can help release the flow of grief onto the page.
3 Meditation, heart coherence work and devises like Sensate can help reset the nervous system bringing it back into a rested state.
4 Fascia release whether that is via massage, rebounding on a trampoline or fluid conscious dancing to release stress and stagnation returning the body to balance.
5 Phonons of sound communicate signals of safety via our fascia system. Nature provides phonons of sound, and our biology is tuned to them. 432 hz frequency helps to relax as does 396 hz found in nature. Sound bowls and gong baths are a beautiful way to experience these phonons of sound that communicate safety and allow the nervous system to rest.
I have found all the above to be supportive and instrumental in completing traumas within my system. Allowing the nervous system to fall back into the parasympathetic rest and digest state so my body and spirit can benefit from the nutrient dense nourishing whole foods.
We don’t end at our fingertips, we are energetic light-beings connected to a quantum field of light, sound, and vibration. By nurturing this quantum connection, we can rebuild our symbiotic relationship with nature and feel the energetic cord of light between all of us (whether alive or transitioned over). This is the medicine to foster safety in the body to ultimately build trust in life again.
If you would like to discuss working with me and learn more about my 1-2-1 support packages please email me at camilla@camillafone.com.
Resources:
Dr Catherine Clinton : Recreate to a greater ecosystem. www.drcatherineclinton.com
The Fourth Phase of Water - Gerald Pollack
The Rainbow and the Worm: The Physics of Organisms - Mae-Wan Ho
